Get Out of Your Own Way: How to Find Motivation to Reach for Your Best Life

Review: Get Out of Your Own Way: A Skeptic’s Guide to Growth & Fulfillment by Dave Hollis

When you’re stuck in a rut in your life, how do you find your way out? In my life, I’ve been battling the hardest things that I’ve ever had to face over the last two years. If you’ve been reading my blog, you know that I lost my mom very suddenly and traumatically over Thanksgiving weekend in 2017. The initial loss was unbearable and the aftermath of it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to navigate and grapple with. I was only 25 years old when my mom died (at age 52). She was perfectly healthy as far as we knew so getting a phone call at 1:48AM that paramedics were at my parents’ house trying to revive her was the most shocking and traumatizing experience I have ever been through. At 25, I was working at a great job, had graduated from my dream school with a BA, and had moved out on my own already. But there is so much ahead that I still need my mom around for. The thought of continuing life without her seemed too much to bear. Pairing that along with already existing anxiety and some PTSD (though I didn’t know it at the time) from childhood, I was overwhelmed to say the least. But I pushed through, I worked, I finished a certificate program going back to school part time, I served as an advisor for my sorority, I earned the promotion I had been hoping for at work, and began dating the man I have been in love with for years. But as amazing as all of this is, grief felt paralyzing, so I wasn’t dealing with it. One day, I decided that it was time to look for a therapist, and I’m so proud of myself for taking that big step. I learned to get to the root of my issues. It helped me to realize that I was not grieving or healing, I was just coping, soothing, and getting by the best that I could. But I started thinking, is this what my life will be like from now? In a perpetual state of crippling grief? Now that mom is gone, will I ever feel like I’m able to try to live a full life?

Around the same time, I was seeing that some of my sorority sisters and friends were reading Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. I didn’t think much of it, but it seemed to become more and more popular as time went on. I looked up the author and started to see what she was all about. In the beginning of 2019 I set a goal: to read more. So, I set a small goal of reading 12 books that year. I figured I could handle one book per month. I started seeing ads for a new book to be released soon: Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis. The title caught my eye because my (then) boyfriend was constantly telling me that I need to stop saying “I’m sorry” for everything. As a joke, I sent him a photo of the cover saying “Hey, this looks like a book I need to read!” Well, the day the book was released, I headed to my local Target and picked it up. I started reading it and was blown away. She simplified so many things that I found myself anxious about it my own life and they started to make sense. By the time, I finished the book, I knew it was something special and picked up Girl, Wash Your Face and was equally impressed. I started following Rachel on social media along with her husband Dave because I just craved more and more of that amazing motivation. They started to talk about their Last 90 Days challenge for the last three months of the year and I decided to try it out. If you’re curious about the whole challenge, check out my first blog post here where I talk all about it. The biggest thing I learned over that course of 90 days was the power of gratitude and that by creating great habits I can change my life. That challenge also inspired me to reach for one of my goals: launching a book blog.

Before I even started this blog, I knew that there was one Advanced Read Copy (ARC) that would be the dream to receive. Rachel’s husband, Dave Hollis, was coming out with his own book, similar to Girl, Wash Your Face, but geared towards those of us that need a little help finding motivation. I knew that it was difficult to receive ARCs from publishers and I figured that this one would be impossible to get because so many people are fans of Rachel and Dave’s but I started the blog. My Instagram following began to grow, more people started coming over to this site to read my blog posts, and I fell in love with the process. Once I picked up a decent number of followers, I decided that it was time to start learning how to request ARCs from publishers. I learned how to do it, and sent in a request to HarperCollins Leadership for Dave Hollis’s book: Get Out of Your Own Way. I didn’t hear anything back but I knew it was a long shot. I was just proud of myself for trying. Then one day, I received an e-mail from the publisher’s publicist saying that she sent the book and it was on its way. I was FLOORED. I had set a small but “big for me” goal and I had achieved it. I received the copy using the exact methods and teachings that Rachel and Dave talk about all the time. I did the work on myself, made a plan to achieve my dreams, and I made them happen. Opening that package from HarperCollins was such an incredible feeling. Not only had I applied what I had already learned from Rachel and Dave, but I knew I was about to gain even more wisdom by opening the pages of Dave’s book, which comes out on March 10, 2020.

Dave titled his book Get Out of Your Own Way: A Skeptic’s Guide to Growth and Fulfillment because as successful as he is, he is not motivated the same way that Rachel is. Rachel wakes up at 5:00AM every day ready to take on and conquer the world and do everything to make her dreams happen. She is naturally motivated individual with a growth-mindset. Dave, however, is not built that way. He has what he refers to as a “fixed-mindset”. He used to believe that personal development is for people that are broken and that there is something wrong with people who go to therapy. But from learning from his wife and deciding that he needed to reach for a better version of himself, he took a deep dive into personal development and learned so many tools to help him on his own journey of growth. His book is the toolkit that we all need to reach for more in our own lives, no matter what type of mindset we have. When things are hard, he teaches how to just “do it anyway”. He formats the book into twenty chapters. Like Rachel’s book Girl, Wash Your Face, each chapter of Dave’s book is titled with a lie or “limiting belief” that held him back. He used personal stories to demonstrate how each lie impacted him and how he overcame them. He ends each chapter with a list of three things that helped him, giving his readers the tangible, actionable advice they need to make positive changes in their own lives. The chapters that resonated the most with me were about shame, the compulsion to fix and care for others, worrying about what other people think, feeling lovable, and roles in relationships. But my biggest takeaway from his entire book came from the conclusion where he gives incredible advice about using leverage to go after what you want most in your life. As a bonus to the book, Dave even created a one-hour long e-course about “How to Find Your ‘Why’” that you get for free when you pre-order the book! And it also comes with the first thirty minutes of the book on audio! Click here or the link at the bottom of this post to pre-order!

Words cannot begin to express the value that Dave and Rachel’s teachings have added to my life, but I’ll try to delve in a bit! The most impactful thing that I learned from them is that I have the power to turn my life around. That, no matter how difficult life seems and no matter how impossible the traumas that I have experienced or will experience are, I have the power to continue on AND I can live a full and happy life, even after and during hard things. I did not believe it was possible to be happy after my mom died. I thought I would go on to live half of a life forever because how could I have anything more without her? But the power of a gratitude-practice every single morning changed that. I stopped feeling that life could never get better, because every single day I was writing down specific things that I’m grateful for and I realized that I am already living a good life. If I keep looking for things to be grateful for, I find them. Making them concrete and writing them on paper makes them that much more real for me and I stay in a place of gratitude for what I have and where I’m at, even when things are hard. I can honestly say that I am a happy person, and I didn’t think that could happen for me again. That’s not to say that I don’t have hard days. I miss my mom terribly every single day. There are moments when the memories of her are so crystal clear that it hurts to realize that they are only memories and I won’t have any new ones. But I am so grateful for the relationship that I had with my mom. I know that all she would want for me to is to continue on and reach for more in my life. She would want me to live the fullest life possible, and that is exactly what I have learned from Rachel and Dave. I learned that I am a powerful, resilient force that can get through anything and still live my best life, and I am forever grateful for the work that they do to empower others to find this for themselves.

I recommend this book for any lovers of personal development or anyone who is scared to dive into it or thinks that it’s overwhelming. I love nonfiction and personal development. I take notes while reading these types of books and took 17 (small journal sized) pages of notes of this book! If you’re feeling a bit stuck in a rut and don’t know how to motivate yourself to go after the life that you want, or don’t think you have the tools to reach for the best version of yourself, I highly encourage you to pick this one up and discover the power that you already have within yourself. This incredible book comes out on March 10, 2020. As Dave always says: Let’s GO!

Pre-Order Dave’s book using the link below! Then, head over to GetOutofYourOwnWayTheBook.com and scroll down to Step 2 to redeem the 30 minutes of audio and the free 1-hour e-course on “How to Find Your Why”!

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